I Just Needed You to Know
by SolitaireBlue
Summary: He doesn't want to hear that. Well, he does but not right this second because it sounds like a goodbye and he's not ready for her to leave him. Oneshot.


Goren doesn't miss what Holl's jacket exposes when he hops over the chain link fence. Goren gets there seconds after the twenty some year old which is pretty good for a guy pushing forty. The detective uses his upper body strength to pull himself over the top and down the other side. However, the bottom of his coat gets stuck on the top of the fence, causing him to land awkwardly, resulting in a pop in his right ankle. Mistake number one was wearing that damn overcoat of his. The buttons tear from the dark fabric, exposing his body to the freezing January air. He frees his arms from the confines of his sleeves (he'll come back for his coat later) and stands on his good foot just in time to see his partner come around the corner. But Holl does not stop, in fact, he has already drawn the pistol from his jeans.

"Gun!" Goren shouts.

But it is too late.

He watches as Holl fires two shots and takes off the way Eames came.

"Alex!"

He sees her face go blank and her legs give out. She falls back and it's as if he's watching it in slow motion.

He runs as fast as he can with what is probably a broken ankle but lets his guard down. Mistake number two. Because when he was halfway to her, Holl reappears and Goren does not have his gun in his hand. Holl shoots four times at him before _actually_ leaving the scene. _The bastard came back to empty his gun._ The first bullet misses, the second grazes his right thigh, the third pierces his left shoulder, and the fourth imbeds itself in his left bicep. The force takes him off his feet and onto his back. His breath leaves him for a second but returns once he can remember how to take air into his lungs.

He feels for his phone as he lies on the cold pavement and calls for an ambulance, then hangs up to tend to his partner.

 _Alex_.

He rolls himself onto his stomach begins to crawl, leaving a trail of blood in his path. It's difficult but he does his best to block out the pain of his injuries. Twenty yards feels like twenty miles. He has to stop a few times to gather is strength but manages to slide himself up under her so that her head is cradled against his arm and chest in a slightly reclined position for both of them.

"Alex." It scares him when she doesn't move. "Alex, talk to me."

A mumble escapes her lips. "Bobby."

"Yes, Alex!" She's got one shot to the abdomen and another to the chest. Both bleeding profusely.

 _Oh Jesus_.

"The NYPD better reimburse me for this outfit."

He chuckles softly. Only she would make a comment at a time like this.

She opens her beautiful brown eyes. "You were shot?" She asks, taking in the blood staining his clothes that she knows can't all be from her.

 _She must have passed out when Holl came back._

"I'm fine." Compared to her he is.

They fall quiet for a minute.

"Keep talking." He instructs, after a few seconds to make sure she's still with him. "Alex, please keep talking."

Her voice comes out shaky. "If this is it, I-"

"No, don't say that."

"I need to tell you-"

"No, Alex."

"That I love you."

He doesn't want to hear that. Well, he does but not right this second because it sounds like a goodbye and he's not ready for her to leave him.

He hears the sirens approaching. "Just hold on, Alex. They're almost here."

"I just needed you to know." She whispers.

"Alex." Her eyes close and she doesn't answer. "Alex." Still nothing. "Come on, don't do this. Talk to me. Talk to me damn it!" He starts to scream, voice cracking with overwhelming emotion as tears well up in his eyes, blurring his vision. "Alex! I love you too! Alex!" The tears roll down his cheeks and off his chin. They fall, one by one, but she still doesn't move. "I love you too."

Mistake number three is not telling her he loves her before she loses consciousness.

Nine hours later, she's out of surgery and the doctors are not hopeful. She died twice on the ride to the hospital but thankfully they were able to bring her back. The bullet to her chest just missed her heart.

He prays, something he doesn't do often but hopes that maybe somewhere out there, someone hears him. The doctors say that if she makes it through the night then she'll probably be okay. So of course, he doesn't sleep. He runs the day's events over and over again in his head until he loses it. He breaks down for the second time in twenty four hours because he cannot lose her.

He can't.

But she makes it through and wakes up sometime in the afternoon.

Neither one can stop thinking about the other but they can never get a moment alone together because her family is constantly hovering. A week later, she is finally released. She stops by her place and packs a bag before going to his apartment (he was released three days prior). Mobility is difficult for him considering his broken ankle so they figured it would be best if she go to his place.

He opens the door, still finding her insanely attractive even if she is wearing a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. He's in a pair of sweatpants and not much else. His shoulder hurts when he raises his arm too far so he just chose not to even bother wearing a shirt. Not to mention that things might wind up moving forward with him and Alex tonight so what's the point in wearing something if it's going to end up coming off anyway? He shouldn't assume that anything of that nature will take place tonight but a guy can dream.

No words are spoken at first. He sets one crutch aside and uses the other one to keep his balance as they embrace in a hug, mindful of each other's wounds, and stay like that for a long time before releasing one another.

"Hope you don't mind, I invited myself over for a sleepover." She says, when he spots the bag on the floor next to her.

"I only mind if you plan on having a pillow fight."

"We'll have to save that for another day. I don't think either of us could handle that right now." They smile.

He makes his way over to the kitchen table, where the Chinese food sits, signaling with a tilt of his head for her to join him.

They eat in comfortable silence. They both know that the police found Holl. He raised an empty gun to an officer and what happened was what any officer would have done.

"Have you changed these?" She asks, lightly touching his bandaged arm.

"Not today. I'm supposed to do it once a day but it's hard to get some of these."

"Same for me. I'll do it for you."

He doesn't have time to protest because she's already taken off down the hall. When she returns from getting what she needs from his bathroom, he's still seated at the kitchen table.

"How's that thing feel?" She asks, eyes focusing on his bandaged foot.

"Like it's broken."

"Wow, really? I wouldn't have guessed." He gives her a crooked smile.

"This one's the graze." He says, pointing to his leg. She nods, indicating that it's okay. She helps him pull the gray pants down and over his boxers just enough to see the bandage. Some blood has seeped through. She removes it carefully, revealing the angry red wound. She's sure it hurts like hell but he doesn't wince or anything as she cleans and dresses it. In fact, he seems to be more so focused on her than whatever pain he's feeling. She dresses his other two gunshot wounds all while feeling his eyes on her.

"Did you mean what you said?" He finally builds up the courage to ask. "That you love me?"

"Yes." She looks up and confirms in a soft tone. When he doesn't say anything, she diverts her eyes from his. "I just needed you to know. I understand if you don't feel the same way, I mean you're not supposed to fall in love with your part-"

Their first kiss is electric, sending shock waves through each of them. He threads a hand through her hair on the back of her head and brings her face to his, capturing her lips with his own. He pulls back once he's satisfied with his demonstration of affection, because he wants to look her in the eyes when he says what he's about to say.

"I love you too. I have since the day I met you."

She lets out a breath, smiling the most beautiful smile he's ever seen and kisses her again, touching his tongue to the seam of her lips which she opens, inviting him to explore. She does some exploring of her own, running her hands over his chest, feeling the hair she's never seen before today.

As they rest their foreheads against each other's. Alex smiles to herself. "We may not be ready for a pillow fight but I think we might be able to do other things."

"Read my mind." Bobby says and kisses her once more before getting up from the table.


End file.
